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if you are thinking of having kids or are pregnant and on your way to having a baby:
1) If you decide to dress your baby in one of your very favorite outfits, even if it is your favorite onesie, your baby WILL have the biggest blowout of their lives (even if you just upgraded to a bigger size diaper.)
2) If baby has this blowout, and you finally get baby naked and clean on their changing table, your baby will be sure to pee the biggest pee of their life all over said changing table and surrounding items.
3) You will then put your naked baby in their crib on a hastily thrown in towel and they will giggle uncontrollably indicating that they know very well what they are doing.
4) In the meantime, you will be lucky if your two older children have not decided to play some decidedly dangerous Lord of the Flies type game unsupervised while you now have to wash baby in the tub, wash the changing pad, and try and hand wash that favorite baby outfit. Really favorite baby outfits should come with a warning that say "do not put on your precious infant unless you want it to be stained for life with yellow baby poo." Especially because if you care about the safety of your older children, you will not get to wash that stain for a good 3-4 hours, possibly 3-4 days depending on how your mamma brain is.
5) Now you know, don't say I didn't warn you.
6) Off to check on the soaking progress of that shirt.
7) PS: Teddy is now in size 4 diapers. Daddy tried to convince me that he was ready, but I stubbornly bought 2, 186 count boxes of Pampers size 3 Swaddlers. Welp, one of those is now going straight back to Target, gotta love their returns. To say he is big would be an understatement. He has his 4 month appointment coming up on Friday where I will get his official stats:) We will then see if I have to immediately go out and replace this up to 22 lb carseat he is in:) I am guessing we are very, very close to having to replace it.
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| I discussed this post with Teddy, and he is not pleased I am spilling the beans. |
